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AGE OF ORDEAL

I had moved into a stage of life where simple, common, mundane activities transformed into painful ordeals. When faced with getting dressed, cleaning my body, preparing food, washing dishes, going to the toilet, sleeping, typing, walking, sneezing, coughing, carrying or lifting, shifting position on chair or bed, I managed when I had to, but not without a great deal of pain, so did less and less. Trying to get comfortable enough to sleep took the greatest toll. With constantly deteriorating function and increased pain comes a troubling shame encased in a kind of existential humiliation. Although we must laugh about our situation, if others poke fun, it lands hard. Loving kindness and encouragement are about all one can bear.


Soooo, hoping to leave this impossible reality behind, I’m happy to report my cardioligist has signed off on the heart. The solution of replacement shoulder surgery is sanctioned and will happen Monday April 29th at NYU Langone Hospital  301 E. 17th St (formerly The Hospital for Joint Diseases.)


Current goal is to nurture a belief that things may somehow move into a new reality with the choice for surgery, and to project an aura of hope for life going forward. I am in a bit of shock contemplating the process. Terror looms. I’m a complicated case in terms of age and challenging health issues.


Please know your well wishes are read with gratitude and delight. 

Responses mean the world to me.

Thanks for all you do.




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