RELUCTANT VALENTINE

On the physical side – a constant litany of symptoms, naturally occuring in old age, is comparable to what it must feel like to have children - unpredictable, often annoying, hard to manage and determined to siphon off our life-force. They are also early warning systems of what may come.

On the emotional side - psychology tells us to look within when we feel thwarted, in an attempt to reveal  unconscious motivations for frustration and allow a better understanding of just what is really going on.  But often the threats are coming from a source we cannot know, much less understand.

On the political side – faux leadership engaging in an authoritarian coup sets up an impossible reality for those who believe in democracy. Are there supermen (or women) who can bring back truth, justice and the American Way?! Or have we irretrievably lost all belief that there is good in humanity.

We are, perhaps always  have been, living in times when many problems are generated through a deceitful power grab by those greedy few who would control our lives. If we respond with constant outrage, confrontation and resistance we can make ourselves sick, especially if the walls we face are carefully constructed lies designed to gaslight a majority. Under such circumstances, detachment seems to be the only healthy way to proceed. Finding some kind of inner peace in spite of numbing fear and on-going threats might help us endure the disturbance when there is so very little one can do to actually alter the reality of our circumstances. Sometimes a change in perception is the answer. We are facing a Borg mind and resistance may be futile.

It is a big ask to overcome odds stacked against us, but is it possible for a gaping awareness of difficult truth to coexist with a momentary sense of well-being? Perhaps only when we accept the situation and practice “coping-in-spite-of.” It's really like the weather. Life comes at us and we adapt accordingly. There is little we can do, besides arm ourselves against potential harm, respond when required, and then let it be.

This reminds me of a story about a little cat my one-time neighbors picked up from the street deciding it needed to find a home with me. They thought I could use a little animal therapy. I tried my best, taking it to the vet and healing it of any problems including spaying, loving it, feeding it and generally embracing its little existence. My reward was when I came home it would look directly at me and then deliberately turn its back to me sitting in contempt at my arrival. But it was when it started to hide under the kitchen cabinets and swipe at my bare ankles as I walked by that I started to think it didn't really want to be here. The third time it actually drew blood was the last straw. I picked it up, took it downstairs and put it back out on the street from whence it had come saying "you're in better shape than you were when I took you in - good luck."  Next day it was gone.

After that cat, my relationships improved. I had learned to let go and move on when the way seemed particularly mean and hopeless - declaring essential boundaries, no longer willing to tolerate abuse.