With what feels like a new arm, I am slowly adding in little rituals developed over time, to what is now possible, as I navigate an accumulated life contained in this survival unit where I have lived for close to 50 years.
For many months I was unable to easily wash dishes or even do the chopping and pouring and stirring and lifting necessary to cook for myself. I am delighted to report that I can once again enjoy my own cooking.
I go through things regularly and although I keep whatever has potential in this constantly evolving environment, I am in a regular state of gleaning - what I keep is only what I might use, so ordering and clearing is a major concern. Once or twice a year I schedule a Salvation Army truck and give away extra clothes, household goods, linens, books and really anything that is in the way and promotes clutter. I have not been able to do this work by myself in a very long time and it is with great relief that I find myself once more able to sort and deal with accumulations.
Another gain is to begin once again to apply a trick I learned from my travels - how to greatly reduce what I take with me by pouring lotions and liquid cleansers into small containers just large enough to carry what I will need for any trip or hospital stay. It greatly consolidates the packing and carrying. Even with household use I favor small easily manageable bottles for dish soap, body lotions and first aid supplies. I can now mange to do this delicate ritual work without pain or difficulty.
My thinking about and processing life has been put a bit on hold owing to the so-called Aide program Medicaid provides. Prior to surgery I had tried for a year to get help and finally jumped through enough qualifying hoops to get it post surgery. But it is often easier to do chores myself now than to explain to a new person how to do what is needed. Many Aides they sent were so unsuitable, untrained and truly weird that I feared for my well-being, but two have proved up to the task and we are forging ahead as best we can. It has been quite the immigrant experience.
Trusted assistant Emma is away at jobs upstate until August but before she left we zeroed in on the archives and will chip away at preparing my final contribution to the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Much of the accumulations represent a lifetime of making art in one form or another so revisiting artifacts feels like a rather wondrous déjà vu.
Sorry to have been so lax in letting you know how things are going. Shoulder-wise the surgery was brilliant freeing me from two years of arthritis pain. Recovery and strengthening is going slowly, but steadily. I have missed so many events celebrating the work and lives of those dear to me. Here's hoping in future I might continue to participate in this shared journey we are blessed to travel.
Huge gratitude for all your kind notes, contributions and well wishes. I am once more open for visits and encourage you to let me know if you are in or near SoHo. My studio cave is air conditioned.
May you and yours find peace in these troubled times and ways to beat the heat.
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