OBJECTIVE DEMANDS ON OUR ATTENTION

I learned from my Mother how to stay open to ways we can improve the quality of our reality - especially when it comes to expanded convenience and ease in performing tedious, boring daily tasks. She was a true housewife of the 50's, embracing modern conveniences as they were invented and became available. Toiling through the difficult Depression and WWII years of the 1930's and 1940's, keeping a family of four clothed and fed had taken a toll and she never wanted to go back.

This comes up when things break or deteriorate in the apartment. My closet light recently stopped working. After tracing the problem back to a cord installed by Suzette (my friend from whom I inherited the apartment well over 50 years ago) it was discovered the task required an electrician, and that would take time to find. In order to provide emergency light in the closet, we ordered some of those new stick-on under cabinet rechargeable  light strips. They turned out to be more trouble than they were worth, requiring a charge from a usb cable which meant moving them, which meant it would be counter-productive going forward to actually stick them up, even though Emma pointed out they did have magnets.

We always have to think about the "going forward" part  of choices. Things rarely work out as advertised or promised and stuff is constantly breaking or going missing. In every instance we have to consider what the new choice will require of us and act accordingly. As for the light strips, they are now more useful if not installed, but serve as hand-held flashlight-like tools - no replacement for the permanent and affective light that has kept my closet lit for over 50 years.

As I wait for an electrician, I must also consider the careful and considered accomplishment of daily necessities. Time keeps moving and change is the condition within which we live. We can try for a more comfortable consistency, but that is rare these days.

Sometimes it feels overwhelming to simply clothe and feed oneself, much less get others to help with this daunting task. An aging body requires constant attention - a vigilant awareness of failing systems (respiratory, digestive, cardio-vascular, skeletal and muscular.) Twinges of discomfort become pain if not addressed and the simplest of basic tasks can literally break us.

Some days it just doesn't seem worth it, but then I immerse myself into a satisfying video drama for hours and refresh from the sense of reluctance. Or have a good talk with a friend and realize I am not really alone but we are all in this together. Or hear from one of you in response to these aged ramblings and am reminded I still have a sliver of purpose.

Thanks to you all for whatever you do - helping to get me through this magical, frustrating, substantive and amazingly long stretch. 

'Closeting'